rileyo

A is for the anxiety you always know B is for the bones you wish to show C is for the compulsions you always do D is for the death that could overtake you E is for emaciation, eating, ednos, and overexercise F is for the feeding tube they will put in regardless of your cries G is for the guilt you will always feel H is for the hate which is so real I is for yourself, whom you no longer know J is for justification, you always show K is for the ketosis that your body will know L is for the lanugo, which you will grow M is for medications of laxatives and diet pills N is for the nutrition for which your body wills O is for the obvi

I have been thinking a lot lately about my eating disorder and how it's affected me, and what recovery so far has done for me, these are just a few thoughts that I have…sorry it's so long but i have so much to say.... First things' first, you must admit that you have an eating disorder, it took me a long time to do this, I didn't accept it until about 8 years into it, and didn't FULLY accept it until just a few months ago, when I took the initiative to start my recovery. If you can admit that you have an eating disorder, it is the first step to recovery. It is not an easy thing to do, but one MUST do it to attain true recovery. If you a

I am who I am My body is not who I am My soul is greater Than my body size or shape Clothes shouldn't matter Size, shape, tone, They are not who I am My body does not define me I am who I am My body is not who I am My reflection in a mirror does not show my soul, My compassion, my patience, Who I REALLY am My clothes should be allowed to fit and sometimes be too tight. My clothes are not who I am I am not my body. I am who I am My body is not who I am My character is so much more The mirror does not define me I need to show myself that I am strong. That's all my body should ever be Strong, Healthy, Alive, and Happy. A

I've been letting a number rule my life for far too long And it's not okay Week after week, month after month, I'd let the scale determine how I'd spend my day I used to give in Every single time I'd listen to everything ED would say Do this, Do that, I wouldn't have any control Now It's time to let go of ED And no longer let him have his way Though It isn't easy to stop listening To all his lies and torments For he used to be so strong But now I want to love I want to heal I want to live I want to be real! I was letting myself destroy my body For far too long But now I am learning so much more about me And starting to tru

Dear body, I know we have had our differences in the past and may currently still have some, but I am happy to say that I am working on loving and treating you better each and every day. I appreciate everything you do for me more and more as I gain my strength and health back. I know that I have treated you unfairly, and have much too harshly judged you for far too many years now.  No matter what you looked like I was always so certain that you were fat, disgusting, ugly, and never good enough, for me or anyone. I was never very nice to you, and treated you badly through all of the constant starving, bingeing, purging, cutting, over exerci